Day Three: Eight things you can do to win my heart
Trble already did this, but it was really fun to think about this at this particular time of my life. I approached it as eight things you can do to be a part of the very, very select few who share my heart *grins*
In no particular order (other than the order that they popped into my head):
1. Like who I am as a person, not just the idea of me. My ex-husband really didn’t like ME. He liked the idea of me… a wife, a mother, someone to have sex with. But he was constantly trying to change me. So this one is really important to me. Like me. Be my friend. Genuinely want time with me and enjoy it when we are together. Think sweet thoughts of me when we are apart. Love all my sides, even the uglier ones. Don’t try to fix me. Don’t try to change me. And, if you don’t genuinely like who I am, the kind of person I am… please, please, please don’t fake it, just move along.
2. Let me be me. This goes really deep for me. Society, my mom, my ex, so many people have forever been shoving it down my throat that the kind of person I am is not a good person to be. I have struggled against this my entire life. The best and probably easiest way to win my heart, my loyalty, my adoration and love and to keep it is to just let me be me. Just let me be my kinky, non-monogamous, silly, slutty, fun, wild, spontaneous, exhibitionist, insomniac, creative, lover of words, flirty, social, emotional, tender hearted, empathetic, wide open self. Enjoy these things about me, encourage them and be at least a few of them yourself.
3. Laugh and have fun in your life. Make me laugh and laugh with me. Laugh at my silliness. Laugh at my jokes. Laugh because when we are together there is so much joy and happiness inside of you that it can’t help but bubble up and come bursting out of you. Laugh at movies. Laugh at babies. Giggle, chuckle, grin, smirk, smile, chortle, guffaw. Be happy (at least most of the time). Have fun. Even when life sucks, find a way to have fun.
4. Be kind to other people. Be kind to them for totally unselfish reasons. Just be kind. Be non-judgemental. Be caring, helpful, thoughtful, considerate, understanding. Hold doors open, be polite. If it’s not yours, don’t touch it. Be assertive but not overpowering. Tip well. Don’t be a dick (at least most of the time, sometimes being a dick is required and it would be good if you’re capable of it, just… ya know, don’t live there). Don’t show up to every argument or cock measuring contest you’re invited too. Strive to be the reason the people you interact with smile.
5. Look for the good, be flexible, and be personally responsible. Be optimistic, hopeful. Have faith. Find the joy in your life instead of complaining about all the things that are wrong. Be happy in who you are or at least well on your way to being so. Be personally responsible for the state of your life. It’s not your parents’ fault, your ex’s fault, fate’s fault if you are in a bad place in your life. It’s a direct result of either the decisions you made or the consequences of those decisions. Own that shit. Be self aware whether you find out that you are good or bad, be aware of it. If you don’t like it, get busy… fix it. If things get sideways, flex… bend… re-calculate and keep going.
6. Be interested in me. Do things with me. Get to know my family, my friends. Want to be a part of my life and show me that the people who are important to me are important to you. Read the things I write knowing that so much is revealed in my written words. Check out my work. Ask me questions. Be sincerely curious about what makes me tick. Cook with me. Clean with me, curl up and read on the couch with me, play games, go to the movies, be spontaneous with me. Create memories and write the crazy story of our life with me.
7. Gifts… but not expensive, flashy or big gifts. It’s always the little things that count with me. Daisies from the side of the road or from the grocery store. Love notes. Good morning and good night kisses, texts, calls, messages. A new book. My favorite bubble bath. Fix dessert (feed it to me for extra points :P), buy me pens (super dorky, don’t care), anything to do with frogs, turtles, fairies, batman, wonder woman, the beach. Knowing the right kind of frogs, turtles and fairies — total win!
8. Open, brutally honest communication and mutual respect. I am a big girl. I am strong. I can handle an awful lot. Be honest with me about what you want, what you have to offer, what you can and can’t give. Let me be the same. Make it easy to be honest with you. Respect my life. My experiences have made me who I am. I don’t let my circumstances beat me. I don’t let my emotions rule me life (at least I work hard not too). Don’t treat me like a child. I’ve raised five strong sons and survived a mess of shit in my life. It’s not as bad as some, worse than others but my struggles and victories deserve respect.