It is ever evolving, isn’t it? This journey of discovery that we are on. There was a bit of evolution just last night.
Let me tell you a little about it…
So for a while now, several of my friends have said that they believed I might be more a switch than I like to think I am.
While I like to be in control in my day to day life, while I am very take charge usually, I haven’t ever really wanted to Dominate another person. But the more I learn, the more I am around others in the lifestyle, I have to admit that I am more and more curious about the other side of the slash.
The last few weeks I have found myself thinking… I am pretty sure I don’t want to actually Dominate another person but maybe I would like topping someone… maybe…
So last night at INCOGNITO Daddy was going to scene with our pretty girl and @ChippyCheeks was there with us and he and I had talked about playing together before. I asked Daddy if I could practice with our new flogger on Chippy. He said yes!
I was a little nervous. I have never negotiated a scene from the other side. I tried to remember all the things I had learned, the negotiations from the two scenes (with others besides Daddy) that I have been a part of. I tried to remember to ask the important questions and figure out what he would like and wouldn’t like and where some of his boundaries could possibly be played with. I made sure he knew this was my first time and that he would communicate with me if I did something terrible.
I only intended to practice with our new flogger but the more we talked, the more I found myself wanting to do. The redder his skin became, the more I wanted to do. The more he responded… the more I wanted those responses.
Turns out that I really, really like using a flogger. I really, really like when running a the claw over his side he wiggled, when I used the marble motherfucker on his ass I could lift him onto his toes. I really, really liked watching his face when he was processing whatever little torment I had just inflicted. But what I liked the most was when his arm moved from where I wanted it on the cross and I put my hand on it, a gentle pressure letting him know I wanted it put back and he put it back… or when a strike would have him dancing just a little, my hand on his belly or his hip or his back would have him moving himself back where I wanted him. And, I really loved his unfocused eyes and breathless response when I would check on him with my hand rubbing the back of his head.
It was a fun and heady experience. Much more interesting than I thought it was going to be. Now I am even more curious than before. I love how the introduction of other people into my life brings new and interesting, challenging, exciting perspectives and ideas and possibilities.
Thank you Chippy for your trust in me in allowing me the honor of topping you last night. Thank you Daddy for letting me spread my wings, letting me explore my curiosities and discover a little piece of who I am that I might not have otherwise ever even noticed. And thank you to @Deceptively_naughty and my pretty girl @massage_me_deep for encouraging my switchy switchy side… for seeing something in me that I didn’t even recognize.
I fucking love my life and all you crazy, kinky, beautiful, amazing fuckers who make it so wonderful.