Perception has been on my mind a lot lately and today I was given one of those fun little numbered about me tasks. I love doing those (because hey, who doesn’t love talking about themselves, right?). I genuinely do love sharing fun little tidbits and getting to know others and letting them get to know me in such a fun way. So, in thinking about which 47 fascinating things I would write, I got to thinking about perception… how I perceive people and I am perceived – which is something I actually think about quite often.
That brought me to a memory.
I don’t often ask what people think about me, but I remember I was once told that one of my weakest characteristics is that I subconsciously I expect the people I am connected to, to respond to things and react to things the same way I would and when they don’t, I feel lost In my ability to connect and communicate with them and often I find myself surprised and sometimes even hurt over the way they do handle them.
Over the past couple of years, since this particular characteristic was brought to my attention, I’ve tried to recognize when it happens and adjust my expectations accordingly. Because of that, I am better about being consciously aware that we are all unique beings and personalities and each have our own view of the world and our own ways and tools for handling what the fates drop in our paths. But, perception, filtered through and colored by our experiences and memories, plays such a big part in how we see the things and how we decide to handle them. And that is the thought bouncing around in my head today.
So, what do I mean by subconsciously expecting those I am connected to, to respond in a similar way to situations, people and things?
Well… A couple of examples:
Because I tend to see the best in people, I subconsciously expect others to see the best in people, the best in me also and I am always taken back when it doesn’t happen that way.
Because I don’t struggle much with jealousy, it is very difficult for me to comprehend and help someone who is struggling through it, to get through it.
Because fairness is extremely important to me, I try really hard to spend plenty of time internally searching my life for places where I may be doing one thing, yet expecting my partners to do another thing and putting myself in the proverbial shoes of others to see how my actions might affect them or make them feel. Because I do this, I think that my partners are doing the same and it affects me in a negative way when it comes to light that they do not.
I love quickly and deeply and often and many. I am often unshakeably sure that the whole rest of the world functions this way as well.
I am very picky about my food and drinks and struggle to comprehend or accept when someone tells me… Just get me anything off the menu or out of the cooler.
I mean what I say when I say it. If I don’t mean it, with very rare exception, I won’t say it. I am always taken by surprise when someone says something to me, I take what they are saying at face value and believe it, don’t question it, and It turns out to have not been the truth.
I am very careful with people’s feelings and try hard not too hurt them or discourage them or do damage to them in any way. When those I am connected too don’t show that same care with my feelings or those if the other people in their lives, I find myself feeling anxious and unsteady around them
Those are just a few ways that I have a tendency to expect, without realizing it, others to think or act in the same way that I do. I’m forever a work in progress, but I am working on it.
So now, a little Q&A
- What is your favorite thing about me?
- What is your least favorite thing about me?
- What would you change about me if you could?
- What is your favorite thing about yourself?
- What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
- If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
And now to find 47 fun things to say about me 😉