So, I’ve been talking with Daddy about the idea of me adding possible new play partners to my dance card. I don’t have anyone in particular in mind yet, but with losing one of my very regular play partners recently there is some extra bandwidth available and I’m trying to figure out what I might want to do with it. So the talks started, cuz… that’s what we do… communicate.
One of the concerns that came up during the initial chats was that I might find a new partner who will meet my sceneing/play needs better than Daddy does and then I won’t want or need to play with Daddy anymore. This is a totally crazy idea to me but it’s a very real concern for him and because of that it deserves some very real consideration and thought… because that’s what you do when you care about someone, you care about the things that concern them.
So I’ve been thinking about it.
His argument is this: Let’s say you love ice cream and your favorite place to get ice cream is Ice Cream Parlor A. You’ve been getting your ice cream there for years. It tastes delicious, it’s well priced, they know your favorite flavors. Ice Cream Parlor A is wonderful. But, then, someone one puts up a brand new, shiny, sparkling ice cream parlor down the street. Ice Cream Parlor B is shiny, it’s exciting, it’s new and the ice cream is way better for the same price. Why in the world would you ever go back to Ice Cream Parlor A? He uses the same examples with burgers (what can I say, Daddy has a love thing for food lol)
So following that theory, if I were to find a shiny, new play partner who did all the things that Daddy and I do together (for example, knife play, impact, wax play, body impact, etc.) and did them way better, why in the world would I ever want to do them with him again?
My very first response to this is that the idea of someone doing it “way better” is a foreign idea to me… it’s not a competition or a comparison. It’s not ice cream. But, mostly I would still want to do it with him because I totally fucking love playing with him. Our scene styles don’t always line up and we’ve struggled through scenes before but… we’ve gotten more right than wrong and when it’s right… man, those scenes are fucking amazing. We both work hard at communicating what worked and what didn’t work in each scene in the continuing effort to find a way to play that leaves both of us happy at the end. Because of that, we have found the style that really does the trick for both of us.
But, even though I think that’s good enough reasoning, I dug a little deeper than that and came up with some counter arguments.
Let’s apply his logic to something more interesting than burgers and ice cream.
❖ Let’s say he meets a girl and she sucks his dick a 100 times better than me or his baby girl. (This is very unlikely bcuz… hella good cocksuckers, she and I) but, for argument’s sake, let’s say it happened. He has this girl now who can suck his cock like a motherfuckin’ champ. Does that mean that he’s never going to want me or his baby girl sucking his cock again? I am pretty sure that is not how that is going to play out.
❖ Or let’s say that Daddy eats pussy better than any guy ever… magic fucking tongue. Does that mean I will never want my other lover(s) to go down on me? Nope… lol that is not how that is going to go down… (hehe, see what I did there?)
❖ His baby girl can take a hell of a beating, way more of a beating than I ever could. She is way more playful and bratty and engaging than I am during an impact scene and he can hit her WAY harder than he could ever hit me. Does that mean that his toybag is lost to me, that he’ll never want to get his toys out and beat on me again? Yeah…. about that… I definitely do not see that going down that way.
The thing is that every person brings their own unique energy and style to play. For me, it is that energy that I am playing with and connecting too. Clearly I love Daddy’s energy and style. I love the way he’s always trying to find ways for us to play and how adaptable he is as we find new things we love and our play styles evolve and change. I’m not giving that up, no matter how many other play partners I have.
During a play session yesterday this concept of unique energy came into crystal clear clarity for me and I realized that even if multiple play partners were given the exact same bag of tricks, toys and play styles (impact, knife, rope, heavy body, etc.) to use in a scene with the same bottom, each of them would bring their own ideas, energy and style to the scene making that experience unique to them and not comparable to any other scene. This, to me, is the main reason why this doesn’t need to be a concern for him. He brings his own unique energy, ideas and style to our play. No matter who else I am playing with or how good that play is, I am going to want Daddy’s play too.
If I dig your energy and style AND I dig someone else’s energy and style, I want them both. I’m a greedy girl like that. I’m not hanging one up for the other. I’m not looking for a new ice cream parlor. I want ice cream from both places… greedy girl…
I’m not looking for new play partners to replace those I already have. I’m looking for new energy to experience, new experiences to have. I’m looking for people who enhance my life, people who encourage growth and self discovery, who help me find new limits and new interests. If you are one of those people, and Daddy most definitely is, I’m keeping you. I’m going to keep playing with you for as long you’ll play with me. And, as long as our energy stays good, I’m in.
Just like with multiple partner relationships where everyone involved has to be cognizant of their time, energy and emotional bandwidths, the same goes for having multiple scene partners. I’m open to new scene partners but my available bandwidth for time/opportunity to scene and possible recovery time are front and center in my mind as any negotiations begin.
To Daddy I say, in closing, be YOU. Be the wonderful, fun, creative, loving you I fell in love with and haven’t been able to resist for 15 years. Keep growing and discovering yourself and allowing me to do the same and you will always have my attention. I will always want to play with you. Trust me to be careful with us and with decisions that could potentially impact us. Trust me to make good choices and be picky about who I get involved with and I will. Let go and I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how little you truly have to worry about. I love you.